Diary of a second wife

14th November 2010

penguin79 — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 16:37:03 +0000

Went to a dinner party in the home counties with friends of H when he lived with WWW. Hosts were lovely but the rest of it… What a performance! Private dining at home! Never experienced people with so much money and yet so vulgar. I think they thought we were very inferior particularly when H declared that the baby ways purée from apples grown in the garden! Or said that we go to lidls!

Oh well. Can’t say I am sad that we have moved put of the area and such a social circle. Quite simply ghastly.

21st November 2010

penguin79 — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 16:24:08 +0000

Finally worked out that H gave his youngest daughter a beautiful ink pen that I bought him. Apart from being hurtful it’s not appropriate to give a 7 year old an ink pen worth £200. I hope I am wrong about this. In the mean time I am gutted.

30th September

penguin79 — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:42:56 +0000

H applied to the child support agency to have his case reviewed. I kept quiet and he has applied as the result of the comfort blanket argument last week.

He is paying a whopping £800 a month more than he should. We discussed whether or not to apply. Where we get to is that to pay off the outstanding £70k in solicitors fees we need this income. Also during the court case WWW was obsessed with getting what she is entitled to. It looks like she is entitled to less than she thought…

WWW was notified this morning and has gone mad. She told him that she will do everything in her power to make sure he never sees his daughters again. She also says she won’t comply with a contact order if he applies for one Youngest SD has also been removed from the babys facebook. WWW will also not let the kids speak to h unless he pays over the odds and just puts the phone down. Isnt this called blackmail?

She also says it’s ok for us as we have two incomes. Excuse me, she might be thick but she could have an income too if she got off her arse.

It pisses me off that people I love are hurt by someone elses actions Gggrrrr

26th September 2010

penguin79 — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:40:39 +0000

Nice weekend with youngest SD; chess, mini golf, baking, card making, pizza cooking and x factor. She also seemed to get on well with my son.

Yey, step families can work!

24th September2010

penguin79 — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:37:19 +0000

H had a sense of humour failure as WWW has thrown out youngest SDs comfort blanket and she was incoherent with grief. Old habits die hard and WWW put the phone down on him and then refused to pick up.

Joy. He should never have let his guard down. Once evil, always capable of being evil.

10th September 2010

penguin79 — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 08:37:35 +0000

Can’t afford to buy the baby the next size of babygrows that he desperately needs because I am so short of money; paying for the full structural survey and to have the wisteria cut back has cleaned me out of the money I had set aside for the year to buy stuff we need for him.

This is in contrast to the conversation that I had with H in which he reminded me that he could have the CSA reduce the maintenance he pays by £800 … a month! To safeguard his relationship with the kids (and, it seems to me) ensure that wife number 1 doesn’t have to work he is not keen to do this. I get it but it kind of hurts that I can’t afford to buy clothes for our son and will have to work full time to enable WWW to lead a life of comparative luxury.

Doesn’t anyone get that it’s my good will that enables her not to work? The issue is that I can’t create a fuss or it’ll be divorce number 2. And, ironically, we can’t afford another one!

Bollocks. Am off to ebay some stuff.

5th September 2010

penguin79 — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 11:59:45 +0000

H offered to download some stuff onto my iPhone for me. I happened to see his ex wife’s iPod is still on his iTunes. This makes me feel sick and paints a very different picture of his marriage from the one I’d been led to believe.

27th August 2010

penguin79 — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 07:39:13 +0000

Another night spent contemplating the ESD. She has deigned to let me drop the baby off at a designated location such that she can see him. I have fears that, as last time, she won’t get out of the car when I am in the vicinity.

Would you drop your child off at daycare without meeting the staff? The answer, ofcourse, is no. If the staff do not want to meet you then you don’t want to entrust your child to their care. It’s a two way street.

Poor old H could be in a difficult position. Let’s see what tomorrow brings. I am not hopeful given evidence to date. Deep joy.

25th August 2010

penguin79 — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 09:34:24 +0000

Eldest stepdaughter has asked H to take the baby over when he goes to take her her birthday presents at the weekend. The text was polite which is progress… However, as ever, the subject is causing a lot of distress; what is best for the baby is to stay in his routine in his own surroundings and not schlepp 3 hours in a car to WWW’s house. ESD also still refuses to see me, even in passing.

I have suggested that she come to near to where we live, has lunch with her dad and I then drop the baby off so she can take him for a walk. I am waiting to hear if this acceptable or not.

The whole topic is causing friction between H and I. He knows I am being reasonable but feels bad that I am put in a position where I am blamed for something I haven’t done, have my son taken away from me at 3 days old, am disrespected in my own house and am then expected to turn the other cheek and go back for more. He can’t see to reconcile the fact that it is ok for me to be upset about this. I’m not sure if he thinks I a pathetic or not. He says he feels caught in the middle and that either eldest step daughter or I will have to compromise. I think I have given enough and if ESD doesn’t take what is on offer this time my line will harden; I can’t have someone continually take the piss out of me.

19th August 2010

penguin79 — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 06:20:37 +0000

Been awake since 4.30am thinking about eldest stepdaughter and her refusal to be in the same room or house as me when handing over her brother. This makes me very sad but also quite pissed off. I have hardened my line overnight as after a conversation with H I realise that he will take from me whatever I am prepared to give. Not in a bad way but in a grateful way.